Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Fractals
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Yes!
St. Paul Public Library system finally ordered a copy of Deathwish by Rob Thurman. The library rocks!!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Conics
This is really cool! Circles, ellipses, parabola, hyperbola can all be taken out of a double cone. Observe the link:
http://mathworld.wolfram.com/ConicSection.html
http://mathworld.wolfram.com/ConicSection.html
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Writing to the prompt, "A walrus in a golf cart going through Wales."
A walrus in a golf cart going through Wales.
What possessed me to be come a greens manager?
Oh right, I remember.
My loving taste for adventure.
My boredom with the mundane.
I was tired of a desk job, I wanted a life.
The sky is so clean. Pure, crystal and blue.
Golfers are weird people.
They spend their lives hunched over, holding metal rods, swinging at tiny white balls.
Manipulating their bodies into uncomfortable poses, walking up and down up and down.
They all carry nets. Ready to fish their balls out of the resident duck pond.
What a brilliant way to see some amusing sights.
The perfect way to get outside, earn some money and see some excitement.
A walrus in a golf cart going through Wales.
Mine eyes do not lie.
I had them checked only a fortnight ago.
I am sober. Alcohol turns my stomach.
I think I might’ve picked my job too well.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Thoughts on a fallen angel
What does a messenger say about his master, a fallen angel doomed to haunt earth in eternal boredom?
"He was banished from Heaven and kicked out of Hell because he was having too much fun. So now he just sits between the worlds, thinking up dreams and watching what happens when he sends me out to stick them in little human brains."
"He was banished from Heaven and kicked out of Hell because he was having too much fun. So now he just sits between the worlds, thinking up dreams and watching what happens when he sends me out to stick them in little human brains."
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Taxes
Are probably one of the most annoying forms to fill out ever created. You'd think that if the government wanted you to pay them money they'd make it easy, but no.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The WEIRD story I wrote at 1am in the morning after reading a New York Times Science article about bipolar disorder and health issues
You’d think it was depressing enough to be in a hospital in the first place. Then the doctor comes to your room and informs you that you have a 35 to 200% greater chance of dying than the guy in the next room with the exact same illness. And all because of a couple little mood swings! Seriously, it’s ridiculous. These people have no sense of the proper bedside manner. If I’m gonna kick the bucket in the next day or two, the last thing I wanna hear before I die is defiantly not a prediction that, “yes, you’re probably gonna die soon”. Yeesh, these people went through that expensive med school didn’t they? You’d think they’d know how to treat a guy about to conk out. Not that I’m about to die mind you! No, that’s the furthest thing from my mind. Well, maybe not the furthest, but pretty far I can tell you. I have no intention of dying anytime soon. None. Zero. Zip.
“Well, that’s pretty ambitious of you,” you think, “seeing as you’re in a hospital.”
Pfff. No problem. I only had a little fainting spell, then my overprotective parents panic and send me off to the emergency room. I guess I must’ve fainted again there, or done something, ‘cause the next thing I know, I’m waking up in a hospital bed and the white coated docs are telling me I haven’t got long to live. Utter nonsense if I’ve ever heard any. I’ll show them.
I’ve heard the doctors say I’m extremely lucky to be alive. Not many people survive the kind of trauma I’ve put my heart through. But I’m not expected to live much longer. I’ve heard the statistics, I know the numbers. My chances? Pigs might fly before I walk out of this hospital alive. The doctors don’t know I’m awake. I guess it looks like I’m sleeping, but really I’m not. I’m contemplating my fate. Honestly, I don’t care. It’s not like my life was all that great to begin with; stuffed full of drugs at every moment of the day, ridiculed by the ‘cool’ kids. Yeah, if the grim reaper comes knocking, I’m not gonna fight. If it’s my time, I’m gonna go.
The doctors were here again. “Please be responsive,” they say. “Don’t pretend to sleep,” beg my parents. Ha. What do they know. I’m not pretending to sleep. I’m plotting. I’m plotting my escape from this cesspit. Being in a hospital is no fun; nothing to do but watch bad TV, nothing to eat except tasteless mush. Yeah, I’m getting out of here and I’m doing it soon.
It would help if I could move. But that’s only a minor setback!!! Besides a lack of certain motor functions I feel great! True, I’m a little woozy from all the meds the doctors have been dripping into my veins, but nothing hurts and my thinking couldn’t be clearer. Actually, I think I’m thinking more clearly now than I’ve been for a good long time. Usually I’m pretty drugged up, but now I’m clean except for the I-don’t-know-what the doctors are dripping into me, and those don’t really count because I don’t control them. They’re like a force of nature, outside influence. Like a tornado or something. Out of my control, not my problem. I can always blame it on the doctors if something goes wrong. Not that anything will! I’ve got a handle on things here.
Why am I still alive? Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t think the doctors know why either. I ‘overheard’ one of them talking with my parents. They’re surprised I’m still hanging in. I’m surprised too. I was ready. I’m still ready. But the end just won’t come. I don’t even know if I’m breathing by myself now. I’ve got so many machines stuck onto my skin I can’t even count them anymore. Or I couldn’t count them even if I could see. Am I too repulsive even for death to want? Now that’s a depressing thought. So horrible that death doesn’t want me, won’t take me. I’ll live in a vegetative state for years and years and years, hooked up to a humming machine that breaths, eats, and lives for me. I’ll just ‘exist’ until I’ve got gray hairs and death finally gives in and shuffles me quickly into the tiniest corner of the underworld. What a life. What a death.
Coma? That’s a word for old, half dead people. Not a word for me. No way no how no nothing. My fate will be different. I’m sure of it. I’m me. And everything will work out just fine.
“Well, that’s pretty ambitious of you,” you think, “seeing as you’re in a hospital.”
Pfff. No problem. I only had a little fainting spell, then my overprotective parents panic and send me off to the emergency room. I guess I must’ve fainted again there, or done something, ‘cause the next thing I know, I’m waking up in a hospital bed and the white coated docs are telling me I haven’t got long to live. Utter nonsense if I’ve ever heard any. I’ll show them.
I’ve heard the doctors say I’m extremely lucky to be alive. Not many people survive the kind of trauma I’ve put my heart through. But I’m not expected to live much longer. I’ve heard the statistics, I know the numbers. My chances? Pigs might fly before I walk out of this hospital alive. The doctors don’t know I’m awake. I guess it looks like I’m sleeping, but really I’m not. I’m contemplating my fate. Honestly, I don’t care. It’s not like my life was all that great to begin with; stuffed full of drugs at every moment of the day, ridiculed by the ‘cool’ kids. Yeah, if the grim reaper comes knocking, I’m not gonna fight. If it’s my time, I’m gonna go.
The doctors were here again. “Please be responsive,” they say. “Don’t pretend to sleep,” beg my parents. Ha. What do they know. I’m not pretending to sleep. I’m plotting. I’m plotting my escape from this cesspit. Being in a hospital is no fun; nothing to do but watch bad TV, nothing to eat except tasteless mush. Yeah, I’m getting out of here and I’m doing it soon.
It would help if I could move. But that’s only a minor setback!!! Besides a lack of certain motor functions I feel great! True, I’m a little woozy from all the meds the doctors have been dripping into my veins, but nothing hurts and my thinking couldn’t be clearer. Actually, I think I’m thinking more clearly now than I’ve been for a good long time. Usually I’m pretty drugged up, but now I’m clean except for the I-don’t-know-what the doctors are dripping into me, and those don’t really count because I don’t control them. They’re like a force of nature, outside influence. Like a tornado or something. Out of my control, not my problem. I can always blame it on the doctors if something goes wrong. Not that anything will! I’ve got a handle on things here.
Why am I still alive? Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t think the doctors know why either. I ‘overheard’ one of them talking with my parents. They’re surprised I’m still hanging in. I’m surprised too. I was ready. I’m still ready. But the end just won’t come. I don’t even know if I’m breathing by myself now. I’ve got so many machines stuck onto my skin I can’t even count them anymore. Or I couldn’t count them even if I could see. Am I too repulsive even for death to want? Now that’s a depressing thought. So horrible that death doesn’t want me, won’t take me. I’ll live in a vegetative state for years and years and years, hooked up to a humming machine that breaths, eats, and lives for me. I’ll just ‘exist’ until I’ve got gray hairs and death finally gives in and shuffles me quickly into the tiniest corner of the underworld. What a life. What a death.
Coma? That’s a word for old, half dead people. Not a word for me. No way no how no nothing. My fate will be different. I’m sure of it. I’m me. And everything will work out just fine.
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